I’ve never wanted to be famous. I think it is odd how the generation behind me seems to be so obsessed with fame. What a strange thing to crave. Is it the money they want? Because honestly there are easier ways to make a lot of money than being famous. Recently I have realized that there are certain alter life paths I wish I could have followed.
Path #1: Bad Ass Gun Toting Super Hero
Part of me has always longed for the ability to pull a gun out and shoot. Not that I would want to kill a person. No, I don’t think I would actually have the courage for that. However, I wish I had the confidence and lack of fear that a bad ass gun toting super hero needs to have. I would like to have the training that it takes to know that if somebody came into my house to do something bad I could take them down. A sort of Trinity from “The Matrix” meets Wonder Woman meets Word Girl. Not to mention that looking good in spandex would be a plus.
Path #2 Stand Up Comedian
This is a rather selfish ambition because this has less to do with wanting to make other people laugh as it is that I just like to laugh. I like to be funny and I like to be around funny people. As a writer I’m plagued with adequacy. Regardless of profession the truly successful are driven to the point of extreme. Famous, successful writers write because they have books longing to be poured from their soul. Yeah, not a lot of yearning going on inside of me. Same is true for humor. I like to think that I’m funny and I have moments of funny but funny enough to make other people laugh? Not so much. I have just enough ability at humor to make sure my lectures don’t put my students asleep, and even that is debatable.
Path #3 An Incredibly Fit And Comfortable With Nature Anthropologist
I loved anthropology in college. I like to fanatasize that in another life time I might have travelled the world studying strange cultures and learning interesting languages. What has prevented me from doing this is that I don’t particularly like to sweat, and bugs. I’m like a delicate lotus flower that would melt under the heat of a strange land and my personal disgust of large unidentifiable bugs (well, really anything larger than a cricket) is about enough to send me into a full blown anxiety attack. However, if I knew that I would look amazingly cute in a pair of khaki field shorts and a tank top I might be willing to overcome these things. As things stand for now I can only dream about a life filled with sitting around camp fires talking with people in loin cloths.