Tis The Season

I spent two years in graduate school working for the Office of Student Life.  During that time we organized a fundraiser and benefit for the local food bank.  I went to visit the food bank and as the director showed me around discussing what the organization did for families I noticed the cupboard was bare – literally.  There was little food. I asked the director where the food was and she said, “well spring is a slow time for us and it is always hard to get food donated”.  I was in utter shock.  How does a food bank feed people with no food?

That afternoon I went to my parent’s house for dinner and as I relayed the story to them my mother grew increasingly indignant. She couldn’t believe the food bank had no food. She popped up from the table and said “come with me”.  We drove directly to the closest warehouse club where my mother purchased pallets of food.  Large flats of peanut butter, canned vegetables, rice, Bisquick, pasta, bread, fruit.  The list went on and on until we couldn’t fit any more food in the car.  I don’t know how much money my mother spent that day but I suspect it was over $500.  We drove directly to the food bank and unloaded our vehicle.  The director was amazed and just kept thanking us over and over.

I have NEVER forgotten that moment.  I have NEVER forgotten my mother’s instant call to action and her desire to fix an injustice IMMEDIATELY.  I have NEVER forgotten my mother’s realization that somebody needed help and she could provide it – right then, right now.

This holiday season I am feeling a strong desire to instill that in my own children -the idea that we can all help.  That we all have gifts and resources and if applied with the same energy that we apply to our jobs we can all make a difference.

Perhaps you too are feeling a desire to help others.  Perhaps you too are grateful for your job, your health insurance, your family, the security of your home and would like to share that feeling with others.  Just perhaps we can all change the world a little.

To help us all bring change to others I’ve collected a list of some of my favorite charities.  Some of these are personal campaigns and others are large organizations but all of them stand for things that are important to me – helping people help themselves.

Grateful For Country?

I told you about my student “Jennifer” before, and her desire to be a United States Citizen.  Well, with certain changes in the immigration law “Jennifer’s” family is trying to raise the money for each child to apply for citizenship.  That costs $500 per child – so $1,500.  This family can barely scrape together the funds for dinner on a weekly basis so $1,500 is a pipe dream.  If you are grateful for your job and for being born in this country, please consider donating to this family. Help these honor roll children become TAXPAYERS and fulfill their dreams of being teachers and computer specialists.

Grateful For Family?

I’ve talked about our nanny and friend Micki countless times and at this point you all know about her on going struggles to have a family of her own.  The saga continues and we are still doing our best to raise the money to pay off her medical expenses.  We are about halfway there and so with a last holiday push we are hoping to raise the remaining $3,000.

Grateful For Food?

I’m always a big fan of food banks.  As a person who has worked for non-profits in the past I am a big believer in donating “things” when you can versus money.  As a result I support the North Texas Food Bank.  There are several ways to support this cause from donating money, donating food, starting your own canned food drive at your office or buying their annual calendar.  Food banks provide an invaluable service to more people than you realize.  In Dallas, 1 out of 4 families is food insecure – that is 25% – IN DALLAS, not some third world country.

Heifer International is an organization that allows you to buy a family livestock.  By providing these families goats, chickens, cows, llamas, etc you provide them with an opportunity to produce food and a means for income.  They can breed their animals, sell their animals, eat their animals.  Plus, this makes a fun gift you can do with your kids.  Lucy and I sat down the other day and discussed the benefits of buying chickens versus ducks.

Grateful for Education?

One of the things I am most grateful is my eduction and the opportunities my GIRLS have for an education.  There are many girls around the world who are denied the right to attend school. Girls who are not given the chance to read.  As an educator, as a mother, and as a woman no other cause breaks my heart more than girls being denied the ability to use the brain that God gave them.

One of the charities I support is Unicef.  Unicef does more than just promote education, they also  support immunization for children, clean drinking water, and the well being of children  everywhere.  However, it is specifically their work in education that I support.

Honestly, I could go on and on with a list of causes I support; clean drinking water, mosquito nets,  building houses, suicide prevention, and after school programs. However, the important thing is that we all DO something.  If we can make time to watch The Walking Dead, play a video game, go for a run, or bake a batch of holiday cookies we can find the time to extend a helping hand.  These causes don’t inspire you? Well, then please go find one that does.  DO SOMETHING – DO IT NOW.

Morley Campaign 2012

The political energy in this country has affected everybody, including the students at Norton Elementary school where the third grade class was asked to write and deliver campaign speeches for class president. Lucy’s class  had a week to write, memorize,  and deliver the speech in front of their class (classroom only – not the entire third grade).  Lucy was at a wedding this past weekend and so she did a rush job writing the speech on Monday. The speech wasn’t very good and lacked specifics.  At one point she said she was a “lover of all things” and that she “wouldn’t fix things that didn’t need fixing”. She didn’t want to practice the speech.  I finally forced her to spend 10 minutes on Wednesday memorizing the speech.  After nine minutes she came out of the bathroom and declared she was finished.  I didn’t push it.  I figured this would be a great lesson in consequences.  Having not worked very hard on the speech she wouldn’t win her election, and therefore learn that little effort leads to poor results.

Speech day arrived.  Lucy gave her speech.  David said she did “okay”.

Her peers brought in posters, props, handouts for the other students, promises of less homework, slogans like “Don’t by shy, vote for Rye”.

The students voted.

Lucy was a finalist – one of four.

The class was given the chance to ask the candidates questions.  Lucy was asked “what are you going to do about homework”.  She replied, “I’m not going to increase homework or decrease homework, but I do promise that we will get it done faster.”

The class voted again.

Lucy won.

The students that worked hard, including one who had stayed in from recess to work on his speech, burst into tears. Her vice president, a boy named Tanner, explained to his mother that he wasn’t surprised Lucy won because “Lucy is a better friend than me. She really makes a point of being nice to everybody.”

Lucy is ecstatic and the lesson in consequences will have to wait for another day.

 

Open For Business

I met Micki early in my teaching career, a quiet attentive student who sat in the front row. When I mentioned I was looking for a new nanny for my son, who at the time was eighteen months, she was the only student who applied.  Well, fast forward five years and Micki is still with us and an integral and important member of our family.

I love Micki. She is like my baby sister. I would do ANYTHING for her.

During these five years Micki has tried tirelessly to get pregnant and become a mother herself.  The pain of watching her suffer through two miscarriages, several failed infertility treatments all while cheerfully nurturing my own children, and supporting me through my third pregnancy, has been heartbreaking.

After five years there is a glimmer of hope.  Micki has been seeing a new fertility specialist and they think they have identified the issue. Micki will be undergoing some surgery in a month that will improve her chances at getting pregnant and staying pregnant.  We are all praying that this is the miracle for which we have prayed.

HOWEVER, insurance won’t pay for the surgery.  We are faced with a $6,000 procedure which stands between Micki and a baby. I can’t get pregnant for Micki. I can’t fix her body so she can get pregnant. BUT, I CAN help her raise $6,000.

Our fundraising efforts are multifaceted.

#1 We are selling canned goods.  As of now we have Sweet Potato Butter, Homemade Pickles, Raspberry Jam, Homemade Marinara, and Mango Butter.  Texas won’t let us sell them online but if you want to email me directly we can arrange for a purchase/delivery (prices range from $3-$7 a jar).

#2 We will be opening an Etsy shop in September that will sell homemade bath salts, bath scrubs, bath bombs, and a variety of other luxury bath products.  Keep your eye open for that announcement.

#3 We will also be organizing some fun family events like a bowling night, cooking classes and chili cook off.

If you are a mother, or are familiar with infertility struggles I beg you to find it in your heart to help Micki out.  Help this woman, this sweet, nurturing caring woman who wants nothing else but to be a mother herself.

Yippee For Public Schools!

The public school system is an easy and oft criticized entity.  As a matter of fact I think most politicians and individuals take quite a bit of joy out of criticizing our public school system and everybody has an answer on how to fix them.

My children attend public school. And I am happy with them.

That is right, soak that in, I like my public school.

Oh sure I have days when the teacher does something that I shake my head about or some sort of federal regulation requires something I think is stupid, but as a whole my kids have great teachers, with involved parents.  Here is a brief description of what I think our public school system does right:

1.) Families:  Lucy attended private school for a year and I found the parents I met to be pretentious, exclusionary and snobs.

The first time Lucy came home from kindergarten telling me that “Anna Claire has six American Girl Dolls and I ONLY have one” I knew we weren’t going to be at that school for long. In addition, her private school was homogeneous – all rich and all white.

The families I have met at our public school are wonderful.  Because it is a public school and because most parents realize that the success of the school relies on them (and not the thousands of dollars they donate) they are heavily involved.  As a matter of fact they place a maximum on the number of parent volunteers that can attend class parties, or field trips.

Lucy has made wonderful friends and the parents of these children have become friends to David and I.  These parents are actively engaged, grounded and frankly “more like us”.

2.) Diversity:  In case anybody has noticed the white population is shrinking which means children need to learn to manage in a world where not everybody is white, not everybody is rich and not everybody is Christian.  The kid’s school hosts a “World Culture Day” every year where families from the school are invited to come and educate the students about their culture.  This year alone the kids got to “visit”; China, India, Switzerland, Canada, Japan, Vietnam, Taiwan and Pakistan.  Lucy and Max have friends from a diversity of cultures and religion and when Lucy came home explaining that “Adrian doesn’t celebrate Christmas because she’s Hindu. So, I told her that I would give her one of my Christmas presents” – well, I was proud.  Instead of judging Adrian, or thinking she was a horrible outside person that we should fear Lucy chose to share her “Christian” culture. This is more in line with what I want to teach my children – the respect and tolerance of other cultures and religions – not to fear and judge them.

3.) Teachers:  The kids have had GREAT educators.  I’ve had some small issues here and there with their teachers, but overall the kids have had strong teachers.   I don’t see ignorant, lazy teachers who are “teaching to the test” but a group of educated and professional men and women working hard to accomplish a daunting task in an impossible situation.  Max’s kindergarten teacher was gentle, kind and supportive. Lucy adored her first grade teacher and although her second grade teacher was tough she kept the kids on task.

Lucy is reading at a fifth grade level, and Max is right on schedule for his grade level.  They are learning about the founding fathers, the election process, science, art, and music.  They go to a nature center about four times a year. And the teachers accomplish all of this while still trying to deal with students with a variety of issues from behavioral problems to academic challenges.

We are all quick to point out the faults and errors of the public school system but there are a lot of successes too.  I graduated from public schools and continued my education through public institutions.  Most of my friends, co workers and peers all were the product of a public school education and most of them I would consider to be successful and morally upright people.

The key to a moral and well-rounded education has always had more to do with parents then with the school.  Perhaps the parents from the kid’s school are not from a homogeneous background but in the end we all want the same thing for our children – a good, safe, well rounded education.  And for our family the public school system fits us just fine.

My Political Platform

I am not looking forward to this presidential election.  Honestly, I don’t like either candidate in our forced two-party system and would love a third option if one would magically appear.  What bothers me the most is how our monopoly driven media environment has controlled the political debate and forced the conversation to be focused on the most sensationalist and yet, insignificant issues.  These are the issues I would like to see discussed in earnest:

1.) Syria

Why does nobody seemed concerned about this humanitarian crisis and complete act of genocide except Hillary Clinton and me?  It is a travesty that the world has done so little to stop the absolute slaughtering of this country’s citizens by their out of touch leader. It is an atrocity.

2.) The Euro and the austerity crisis in Europe

It’s a global economy people and things like the failing Euro, and the Greek government collapsing matter in a BIG way. Not to mention financial dominance of Germany.  Is nobody else concerned that Germany is being rather heavy-handed regarding their ruling and policy making regarding the Euro?  We cannot afford Europe to fail and we cannot afford a Europe at conflict with itself.

3.) Mexico/Immigration/Drug War

Why is it that nobody is paying attention to the horrible bloody civil war that is happening just South of our border?  Most recently, 50 bodies were found on a freeway in Monterrey Mexico.  Dig out your maps people, this ain’t too far from California. Not to mention our outdated immigration policy which everybody agrees needs to be fixed but not a single politician can have a reasonable conversation with anybody long enough to fix it.

4.) Education

Oh they talk about it, but it is always the same old grumbling revolving around accountability and money but it never makes any sense.  The truth is that Ron Paul sort of had it right – get rid of the Department of Education and let local governments control their education budgets.  The example I always use with students is, don’t donate computers to a school if what they really need is an air conditioner. Education is not a one size fits all endeavor and therefore not a place for the Federal Government.

5.) Health Care

The last presidential election I voted for Hillary Clinton.  Yes, I know she wasn’t on the ballot. I wrote her in.  The reason why I voted for her was because I thought she was the only person on the ballot that understood the health care system and the political environment well enough to quite possibly make some changes. No, I don’t want socialized medicine (just ask my Canadian friends) but there is a middle ground somewhere and the truth is that the people who are making the most amount of money right now are the insurance companies and frankly they don’t deserve it.  I’d rather see the return of rich doctors than rich insurance companies.

6.) Return of Regulation

“Regulation” is an ugly word for many people but there are some industries that are SCREAMING to be regulated; mainly banking and media.  When the government lifted regulations in the 90s that had prevented media monopolies they opened the flood gates for the control of information.  Now most of our TV, radio and newspapers are owned by only a handful of people.  I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t make me comfortable. We need to bust up these monopolies and see the diversity of ideas propagate.

The banking industry was threatened with regulation when we bailed them out – remember that? And they promised they would change. They crossed their hearts and everything.  And then Congress promised they would pass laws and regulate so the bankers wouldn’t be bad ever, ever again and you know what happened? Nothing. Some thinly veiled laws that did absolutely nothing.  I want that fixed dammit and I want it fixed NOW!

But these aren’t the issues that will be discussed during our political debates. No, we will be fighting over gay marriage, abortion, candidate’s personal lives, religious beliefs and all the other morally driven issues we always do. Why? Because they are divisive and make great TV.  Because people can be placed in categories and pitted against each other. Because issues like these make it easy to identify the “bad” guys and prevent people from thinking about larger, more complex problems that will have a much greater impact on the future of our nation and our world.

Raising A Future Lawyer

“Lucy, I think I’m going to run to the corner and get some milk. Are you comfortable being in the house on your own for ten minutes?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Don’t open the door for anybody, and I’ll be back in ten.”

“Okay, so don’t open the door unless it’s like Ms. Micki or something.”

“No, don’t open the door for anybody.”

“Well, can I open the door if it’s Nana?”

“Ok, yes, you can open the door for Nana if she shows up, but she won’t.”

“Well she might. I mean she might just turn up and surprise us.”

“No, she won’t.”

“Ok, so can I open the door for Uncle Paul or Aunt Beth?”

“Technically, yes, I suppose you could, but they won’t come either.”

“So I can open the door if I know the person. Can I open the door for Mikayla?” (our neighbor)

“No, you cannot open the door for Mikayla. You can only open the door for Nana.”

“But what if Mikayla rings the doorbell like 20 times?”

“No, you cannot open the door for Mikayla.”

“Okay, so Nana, or family or people like family – like Ms. Micki or Mrs. McDonald”

“NO LUCY! You can ONLY open the door for Nana!”

“But what if I know the person really well and I know they are a safe person?”

“Lucy, don’t worry about it. I’m not going to the store.”

“Oh good, I didn’t want to be home on my own when it’s raining.”

 

A Dream

Once upon a time there was a girl named Jenny*

First day of class Jenny sat in the front row.  Her dark hair tied back in a tight pony tail. Small silver glasses, short framed, round face wearing a lumpy jacket.  She dissolved into her seat, trying to be invisible.  The first paper she submitted to me was amazing, a perfect A.  The second paper, also a perfect A.  Every morning I would would walk into class and with my most annoyingly perky voice ask, “How you doing Jenny?”  She would shrug and go back to being invisible.  She was academically perfect – a perfect A – every time.  However, she said almost nothing.  It became my mission to get her to smile.  It never happened.

Next semester she turns up in my class again – different course.  Again, perfect A and no smile.  Third semester she turns up again.  This time I’m adamant.  What is this girl’s story?  A perfect student but she doesn’t talk or smile – EVER!  I make the decision that this semester she WILL smile and she WILL talk.  I keep asking questions and I keep probing her.

I find out that she hates English.  She’s actually a math major. She graduated from high school with honors.  She’s a 4.0 Dean’s list student.  Her dream is to be a math teacher.  She loves math.  She solves math equations when she’s bored or stressed out.  This, of course is something with which I cannot relate.  I’m boggled about how math could be that fun for anyone and I tell her that. She laughs. And when she laughs her face comes to life.  Her eyes sparkle and voice tinkles and I know I’ve got her.

Jenny and I spend a lot of time over the next year or so talking.  We talk about how her traditional Hispanic family wants her to get married and have babies.  We talk about how all she wants is to go to school.  She loves school.  She is desperate to finish her college degree and teach.  We talk a lot about her dreams but every conversation has a hidden cloud – a darkness in her voice, the source of which she refuses to share with me.  I respect her privacy.  I don’t prod, but something bigger lies underneath and I can sense it.

Some days when Jenny I talk she is very sad and the depression in her voice is heavy.  The pain and sorrow washes over me and our conversation is like a rain cloud.  I tease her and call her “my little Eeyore”.  However, we both know it is bigger and more serious than that.

I receive a note.  Her father, unexpectedly, dies in his sleep from a heart attack.  Jenny is devastated.  She doesn’t know what to do, where to turn, how to survive.  Her normal rain cloud has grown into a storm, a typhoon of overwhelming loss and desperation.  How will she survive? How will her family survive? I do my best to comfort her but at times I can tell I’m saying all the wrong things.  She starts to grow frustrated with me and I’m getting frustrated because she isn’t telling me everything and after five years I feel like I’ve earned the right to know where the big sadness is coming from.  I blurt out “you don’t tell me anything!” She realizes that she’s been unfair and here comes the truth “I’m an illegal”.

Jenny’s parents received visas to travel from Mexico to the US when Jenny was 5 years old. They came to the US to visit Jenny’s aunt – who IS legal.  The family decided to stay. They start the process to become citizens but in the meantime their visas expire. The lawyer’s fees are expensive and her parents can only afford to work the system periodically when they have enough money.  Her mother works as a cleaning lady.  Her father works construction.  Her mother pleads with Jenny to date and get married so she can become “legal” but Jenny can’t stand the idea and wants to stay in school.

Jenny is lucky because she lives in Texas where illegal residents can still attend college. The family was struggling but making it.  Working with a lawyer on the waiting list, trying to do the right things when her father died.

They aren’t eligible for social services – no WIC, no welfare, no unemployment, no social security no medicaid.  No income.

The desperation in Jenny’s voice scares me.  She has no future.  She can graduate from college and even become a certified teacher but she won’t ever be able to work as a teacher.  Her brother, although excellent with computers and computer repair, cannot work.  Her mother can only do so much.  Jenny’s Spanish is horrible and Mexico is a dangerous place. There is no going back for her.  She doesn’t even have family that lives there any longer.

The United States was founded by immigrants FOR immigrants.  We are all immigrants or children of immigrants.  The American dream is to work hard, get an education and pay it forward.  If we lose sight of this dream we have lost sight of what makes the American experiment so amazing.

The hopes of my immigrant students and the hopes of these parents who have sacrificed EVERYTHING for their children lies with one piece of legislation: the DREAM Act.

Please, please, please write your legislator, contact your representatives and stress the importance of passing this Act – an Act that allows CHILDREN, who have NO CRIMINAL RECORD, and who have graduated high school and completed two years of college or military service the ability to become legal citizens.  Let these CHILDREN give back – let these CHILDREN make the United States their home.

For more information go to The Dream Activist for links to your local rep and how to get involved

 

*not her real name

And Puppy Makes Six

Initially David said it would be five years before we got another pet.  He didn’t want to add one more thing to our family.  I protested, saying that there was no way I was waiting five years for another pet and that he was crazy.  In reality it took us about three weeks after Cosmo died.  Introducing Heidi Von Snugglestein:

She’s a 12 week old miniature schnauzer whom we bought from a sweet family in downtown Dallas.  She had been given as a Valentine’s Day gift but found herself in a family that didn’t even have the time to name her otherwise feed and play with her.  David scooped her up and brought her home.

David and I are both rather smitten with her, and yes, she is sleeping every night in our bed. Her sweetest characteristic is her undying loyalty and love to “her people”.  Heidi insists on being wherever we are.  She follows me around like, well, a puppy. If I stand still for any amount of time she curls up next to me and falls asleep, but my slightest movement wakes her and she’s ready to move on to the next activity.

Max has forced himself to overcome any anxiety in order to love and bond with Heidi. He was adamant that he was going to like this dog regardless of how much she jumped or nipped.  Harper has reached a sort of peace accord with the dog where they have both agreed to ignore each other.  Lucy, however, is the hold out.  She likes the IDEA of a dog but the reality of it has made her uneasy.  We’ve signed Lucy up to take obedience training with Heidi and we are hoping that the structured classroom environment will help Lucy gain some confidence with the dog.

Most importantly she is the extra love that we needed to complete the family.  I still miss Cosmo and at times could swear I hear him meowing but nothing heals the loss of a pet like a new pet.  Heidi is helping all of us heal after a season of great loss.