The Best Laid Plans Are Crap
I turned 40 two weeks ago. It seems like I should be marking this occasion with some sort of wisdom or rite of passage. What would that be? The truth is not only do I not feel wiser I actually feel more stupid.
When you are in your twenties your life is filled with possibility and uncertainty. We all crane our necks trying to peer over the fence into adulthood wondering what it is going to look like, unaware that we are already there. By thirty we KNOW we are adults and are filled with the confidence and certainty that this self-awareness brings. We’re married, we have kids, houses, cars, careers and life seems rather simple for those who know how to “follow the rules”. But the journey from thirty to forty is tough and exhausting.
At 40 I’ve realized that having a “plan” for life is the silliest most fruitless thing ever. Plans are meant for those who have yet to come to terms with the fact that life is not something that can be controlled. All the idealistic and optimistic visions of my early thirties have been smacked in the head with reality. In many ways my life is better, more fruitful, richer and painted with more vibrant colors than I was capable of imagining at thirty. On the other hand I’m also far more humble. I’ve been knocked on my knees, fallen to the floor and wondered “what next?” too many times during my thirties. I know not to take the good times for granted and that the unexpected tragedy is the other side of the rainbow that fills our lives.
What’s next?
I plan on spending my forties enjoying the seeds I sowed in my thirties. I’m looking forward to watching my children grow up. I want to wallow in my new career as an educator and watch my students blossom. Most importantly, I’m looking forward to countless evenings sitting with David on our front porch, watching the moon, talking quietly about our kids, our jobs, and laughing at life.
See, I Do Care
I was a recent college grad when I took a job with the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I was young, idealistic and wanted a job that would be emotionally fulfilling. I naively thought that working for a non-profit organization would provide me with the sensation of doing something for the greater good. It did not. Within a year I realized that non-profit organizations are mainly filled with people who are driven by money. Raising money and finding new ways of raising money is their only focus. I learned three important things while working there.
#1 Give Locally
Your local vet clinic, homeless shelter, food bank will take your money and put it to use right away helping the people in your neighborhood. Your money will not go to feed and/or support a large bureaucracy that must pay salaries, bonuses and office supplies for their employees.
#2 Don’t Give Money
If at all possible give something that can’t be corrupted. Whenever I can I prefer to donate food, books, time, clothes, ANYTHING but money. Money is easily manipulated and wasted on things that you would rather not see your charitable money being spent.
#3 Work For The United Way
It is a widely held belief within the non-profit industry that if you want to make “real” money you go work for the United Way. They pay top dollar for their employees. This tells me as a person donating to NEVER donate to the United Way.
Even with this jaded and cynical attitude I still have two causes that evoke my passion. Causes for which I will give and/or do anything. They are literacy and food. I feel passionate that if you feed people and teach them to read you can change the world. People have endless potential when they don’t have to worry about their next meal and when they can self-educate. First and foremost I believe that women should know how to read. They are the mothers of the world and only they can influence and change the future of our society. It is imperative.
As a result when I read Seagull Fountain’s review of “Three Cups of Tea” at 1:00 in the morning while I fed the baby I could not stop thinking. I was awake for another two hours thinking about the girls of the world. My heart breaking about the young women of Afghanistan, Pakistan, India and other nations who are left out of the educational process. Girls who will never know the wonder and power of books – even their own religious texts. As I lay there awake thinking about these girls and asking myself what can I DO to help this cause I thought well, I could write another blog post about Seagull Fountain’s review and thus continue the cycle of awareness. I could also provide a link to Greg Mortenson’s charitable cause iKat and encourage you to help.
You teach a girl to read, you teach a family to read. You teach a family to read, you teach a town to read. You teach a town to read, you can change the world.
Why Teachers Who Teach Writing Should Write
1.) Writing Is Hard
Writing has always been my favorite form of expression. Some people paint, draw, sculpt, sew, do crafts, take pictures but I write. I’m honest about my skills, which means I’m a hair above average. However, writing every day or even three times a week is challenging. At times it is down right hard. The pain felt when staring at a blank page or the anxiety of not knowing what to write about is a feeling that a composition teacher should always be familiar.
2.) Writing Is A Skill
Like any other hobby writing requires constant practice. The less you do the worse you get. I used to be able to rattle off a thirty second radio ad in twenty minutes but now my creative writing skills have grown rusty as I have spent more time writing academically and professionally. If I’m going to preach practice then I had better be practicing myself.
3.) Know Thyself
Part of the skill of writing is understanding where you struggle. I’m not a grammarian. I’m okay with this. The basic rules of grammar are tedious and boring to me. I couldn’t quote the rule for semi-colon usage or dangling modifiers if my life depended on it. Yuck. I love books. I love words. I love writing. I don’t love grammar. However, knowing my weakness allows me to compensate for it. It is important to know where your strengths and weakness lie and therefore also important that my students gain that same self-awareness.
4.) Don’t Lose The Wonder
I love to write. I truly do love it. I’ve written in some form or fashion everyday of my life since I was in fifth grade and started my first journal. I still love it. I love how writing forces me to be introspective. I love how writing challenges me to accurately communicate my thoughts and feelings. I love that sometimes when I write things it affects people and they tell me. If I ever lose sight of that love I’m going to quit teaching.
The act of writing is a craft and it is impossible to teach and inspire somebody to pursue the same craft if you yourself do not practice. When I tell my students about the importance of having a writing process or why organization is important it is coming from the voice of experience and not from a textbook. A lecture rings hollow when it is presented with no passion and little context.
