The Student Becomes The Teacher
I think it is egotistical and foolish of a teacher to think that all the learning happens in one direction. My students are almost always younger than me but none of them are stupid. At a minimum they bring fresh eyes to stories that I have read hundreds of times. Frequently their insights and interpretations are surprising and unexpected and that makes reading the story brand new. Sometimes though it is the mirror that they hold up to me that makes me view my own life in unexpected ways.
English is one of the few classes students will take where they will be asked to be truly introspective. This is what I always loved about English but for many this is an uncomfortable spot. When you read you are asked to identify with characters, search within yourself for connections, wonder about your responses (both emotional and intellectual) and then ask why you responded that way. This thinking process can lead to conversations that cover a whole host of personal experiences. That is why my students and I connect – sometimes on a rather personal level. We talk about love, jealousy, loneliness, fears, anxiety, dreams, relationships, and connections to each other. My goal, as a teacher and a guide, is to create a comfortable environment in which they feel safe discussing these sometimes personal topics. Frequently this is done by me sharing my own stories.
Perhaps it is because I’m pregnant and emotional. Perhaps it is because of this stage in my life. Perhaps it is because I have more “adult” or “older” students than ever before, but this semester my students have really pushed me to do more self-reflection. They have made me reflect on everything from why my marriage works, to how I define myself as a woman, and it has been uncomfortable. It is easy to seem smart and wise when you automatically have time and experience on your side, but when that gap closes and you are faced with students who can think the big questions – well, I am no longer confident that I have the answers.
This semester we are reading “The Chrysanthemums” by John Steinbeck. It is a beautiful story about a 35 year old woman named Elisa living on a farm with her husband in California. I’ve read this story at least four times before selecting it for this semester, but this time the reading was much different. I KNOW Elisa – I understand Elisa because parts of her are also parts of me. As I stood in front of my classroom preparing to lead a discussion about this character I felt naked. I no longer knew how to talk about Elisa without also talking about myself and somehow the imaginary boundary line that I had always drawn in my mind was so much more difficult to see. Were we talking about Elisa’s fears and anxieties or mine? And unlike previous semesters my students knew that and I felt small, embarrassed and inadequate.
We all look back on our education and can identify the teachers that changed us, influenced us and help shape us into the people we are today. I can name every English teacher I have had since 9th grade. Each one has contributed to me being an educator and the style with which I teach. As a teacher I’m realizing that I will also have students that both shape me as an educator and influence who I am as a person. Students, who through no knowledge of their own, will change me.
Some Things To Try
October is a big party month for me. David’s birthday is this month and our anniversary and my mother-in-law’s birthday and Halloween, etc, etc. As a result I’m always on the look out for great fall snacks and treats that aren’t the typical orange cupcakes. Here are some things that I want to try out this month:
Easy Cinnamon Rolls from Ezra Pound Cake
We’re a big breakfast family on the weekends. I like getting up on Saturday mornings and making the full spread; bacon, eggs, toast, etc. I’m looking forward to working these easy Cinnamon rolls into my rotation
Chocolate Croissants from Noble Pig
I love chocolate. I love croissants. Chocolate croissants are the closest thing to food heaven I will ever attain. And the mere thought that I might be able to have these on demand at my own house is mind-boggling to me
Pumpkin Cookies from My Baking Addiction
I like to bring snacks to my students. Some teachers might view that as bribery, others as patronizing. I view it as just straight up logic. If I feed them they are more likely to stay awake AND give me a good teacher eval. You won’t believe how much positive feedback I’ve received from $30 worth of doughnuts. Totally worth it. I was thinking these cookies would be easy to double and bring to school. If they go crazy for stale doughnuts, think about the response I’ll get with homemade cookies.
