What People Are Talking About
Hopefully these answers will clear up some questions I’ve been receiving lately.
1.) When is the baby due?
The official due date is February 21st, which also happens to be Lucy’s birthday. I’m not too worried about this date since Lucy was born 3 1/2 weeks early and Max was born 2 1/2 weeks early. I figure this baby will be 1 1/2 weeks early which should put it’s birthday at around February 11th.
2.) Wasn’t Max born January 28th? and Lucy February 21st? What are you guys doing in the spring?
Yes, well, we didn’t plan it that way. Apparently David and I always have sex on the same day. Or perhaps it is spring fever. I have no idea. I cannot explain it.
3.) I thought you had decided to not have any other kids.
You would be correct we had – sort of. Although intellectually we didn’t want any more and emotionally we were scared to have any more, I think our hearts always wanted another. I think Walt Disney said it best; “a dream is a wish your heart makes”. And so our dream came true.
4.) Didn’t you sell your crib?
Yes, and every other baby item we owned. We have no bottles, bibs, burp cloths, clothes, rattles, toys, high chair, stroller, etc. You name it, we got rid of it. We are starting all over again. Do I feel stupid? Yes. This would be a great time for Target to sponsor me in order to promote their baby registry. Or perhaps Graco. Anybody? Anybody?
5.) Bottles? You’re not breastfeeding.
My stressful and terrible experience with breastfeeding has been documented. Yes, you may now call CPS because of all the horrifying and abusive things I do to my children apparently not breastfeeding is the worst of these. I am happy to report that my children are very bright and have not contracted any major illnesses since birth. When my choices are bleeding nipples and a mother having a nervous breakdown or a calm mother sweetly bottle feeding into the wee hours of the morning. Well, sanity always wins for me. I know – I’m selfish.
Oh, and I’m desperate for a good bottle recommendation since I no longer know what to get. We used Avent last time, but honestly I had issues with those bottles so I’d like to go with a different brand.
6.) Will you continue to teach?
This is the million dollar question. Ideally I’d like to continue to teach online through the pregnancy and delivery. Okay, not WHILE I’m delivering, but you get the idea. However, that is a tough schedule to get for a part-time faculty member. I’ve requested it – whether I get it or not is quite another thing.
7.) Are you scared?
Amazingly, no. As a matter of fact in contrast to my previous two pregnancies I have not felt this overwhelming desire to start planning everything down to the color of the baby’s eyes. No, I’ve been far more relaxed this time. I feel like I have all the time in the world – even though I know I don’t. Honestly there are many days when I forget that I’m even pregnant (that is until I belch vomit into my mouth). I feel confident that God will provide, that the answers will be there, that things will happen according to a plan that is not my own. Ask me again in November. I’m sure by then my type-A personality will be back and I’ll be in full panic mode.
8.) What do the kids think?
They have been wonderful. They are both very excited and frequently will pull things out of the closet and say “this would be a good thing for the baby”. Max set aside all of his old clothes for the baby and Lucy is busy coming up with names. Her most recent suggestion was Ava and Max’s was Joanio.
Hopefully that clears up any outstanding questions. Feel free to send me links to any cool baby stores, or baby websites. It has been so long since I’ve had to think about baby stuff that I feel lost. What P
Who Does the Dishes In Your House?
David and I recently got into a conversation about daily chores. I jokingly asked him; “what do you think I do during the day?” I was truly expecting him to have absolutely no idea and although he missed some of the small things he did grasp the big picture. He quickly rattled off, “you do the laundry, all the grocery shopping, cooking, and everything to do with the kids from dressing them to planning their school days”. He left out some of the smaller things like dishes, trash, cleaning the house, buying presents for birthdays, planning family gatherings, etc, etc but I was actually impressed that he recognized as much as he did.
David has a very demanding job that requires that he be out of the house from 8AM to 7PM. There just isn’t a lot of time during the day or weekends for him to “help out”. As a result this is how we divide the work load:
David:
- Pays bills & money management
- Car & home maintenance
- Lawn care
Beth:
- Everything else
- Hires housekeeper to clean house
For some people this may seem unfair, but most of the time this arrangement works just fine. David and I have pretty good communication skills so when one of us needs more help we ask for it. For instance, I’ve already begun asking for more help in the evenings. I’m pregnant and tired and the evening demands of the kids is are hard on me.
This now makes me curious – how do you divide the workload in your house? or do you? Do you strive for everything to be equal? Have you sat down to make a list? Is this a chronic source of tension in your marriage or have you come to peace on this issue? I’ve read in several places that household chores is one of the most common problems married couples face (next to sex and money). I’m always fascinated how other couples navigate this tricky ground. Seriously, how do you split up the work?
New Horizons
From early on David and I decided against sending our kids to preschool. David comes from a bevy of educators who have all told us again and again that preschool is not necessary. That society has created this feeling of urgency to shove kids into school at too young of an age and that anything our kids would learn at preschool they could comfortabley learn at home. These people are experts. These are people who have spent more time reading, studying and learning about early childhood development than I could ever imagine knowing in my entire lifetime. No problem.
Lucy has either been home with me or with a nanny from the day she was born. She has spent her mornings tumbling out of bed, shuffling around her pj’s and drinking chocolate milk like a drunk sailor. Over the years I have carefully tracked her development against what is expected of kindergarten age children and indeed Lucy has always met or exceeded developmental milestones — except for scissors. Our first note from Lucy’s kindergarten teacher was to let us know that for a five year old Lucy was really lacking in her scissor skills. OH MY GOSH MY DAUGHTER WILL NEVER SUCCEED IN LIFE BECAUSE SHE CAN’T CUT ON A STRAIGHT LINE!!! For the record, I have always supremely sucked at cut and paste and I’m assuming that Lucy has inherited this apparent lack of scissor skills from me.
We had a nanny lined up at the beginning of the summer for Max but this person fell through and I had to start the search for a new care-giver. We ended re-hiring a former nanny and this seemed like a perfect resolution. Max would continue to stay at home, like his sister, and be cared for by the same person who nurtured Lucy. Two weeks before the school year was to start for me that person informed us that she couldn’t do it. I was screwed. Two weeks is not nearly enough time to find a quality nanny. We were left with few options. We enrolled Max into preschool.
Yesterday was Max’s first day of preschool. My anxiety and self-doubt as a parent over this decision is bottomless. I have never second-guessed and questioned a parenting decision as much as I have this one. David dropped Max at preschool yesterday. David was filled with trepidation and viewed all the people at the school with a cynical eye. Max, after a brief moment of shyness and tears, quickly settled down and never looked back. When I eagerly picked him up he was cheerful and excitedly told me about his new friends.
This is the ultimate truth about parenting; kids are usually ready for new challenges and experiences long before their parents are ready. I can justify and explain this decision all day but it still won’t make me feel any better.
